Readings #3: Mister B Gone

This was an airport buy-and-read.

Nice and short and dark. Had the book with me during the week-long workshop in Bangkok, but ended up only reading it at the airports and on the flights. It's a bit of a tease, a darkside tease, but am not completely convinced that it worked. Still okay though.

Am now not reading anything. Work is piling up on me.

mj

good bye michael.

Readings #2: Eat Pray Love

For a while there, I resisted reading Eat Pray Love.

This was because I saw Elizabeth Gilbert do an interview/discussion about the book and her journey, and she blew me away. I love the way she speaks, I really do. Extremely eloquent and she hits the point every time.

I didn't feel the need to read the book because after listening to her, I got it. I understood her story, loved it already, and felt that a) reading it won't have much more to offer; and b) I didn't want to spoil the brilliance of it in case the book wasn't as entertaining. (which doesn't make any sense since it was the book's best-selling status that got Gilbert interviewed in the first place, so it's gotta be good, right).

But one fine day I was chatting with Sue and the topic came up. Sue had just finished it with her book club friends, and assured me: "if you love how she speaks, then you will love the book because she writes exactly the way she speaks". Then she proceeded to shove a copy of the book at me. Here, read it.



Like I said. Books jump out at us. We don't pick them; they pick us.
And right now in my life, Eat Pray Love is the perfect companion.
I get it.

p.s. am loving the idea of Julia Roberts for the film.

Notes on a plane #1

I've been observing you. My goodness. You're operating on fifth gear.

Huda my PhD student said that to me last week. I was actually aware of her observing my every move. How could I not, she was seated next to me for three whole days, taking stock of everything I did.

And she's absolutely right too. I was running at top speed.

I should be exhausted - and in some ways, during certain stolen moments, I am - but I'm still running and it's taking a lot less effort than I would have previously thought. Maybe it's because I'm not thinking about it. I just run.

If I were to put into words what the past two, three weeks have been like, it'll look like this:

[after a month in Bangkok, and two nicely-paced week at home fly from Miri to KL Upon arrival immediately go for a drive up to Kuantan Do the jetty visit Do the drug use drop-in centre visit After two days drive back down to KL Fly back to Miri Less than a week, off for a day trip to Kuching for the UNESCO video conference Back to Miri Less than a week Off to KL again All sorts of things in KL IBBS project Masters students Back to Miri just for the weekend Then KL yet again, and it's crunch time PhD student needed sorting out Back in the good or at least okay books of Ministry of Health WHO suddenly calling IBBS project running a full speed that I had to gladly hand-over the controls to the so very dedicated team at MAC bless them Three days at the Ministry trying to be a fly on the wall but failing miserably Made one clandestine overnight trip to Bangkok on a confidential contract that is both secret and high profile at the same time if that even makes sense Back to KL to catch the all too important day one of the IBBS training workshop Then off yet again to Bangkok for the all important final presentation to the big shots at UNAIDS And now on the plane yet again writing in my notebook about to arrive in KL at midnight with a morning video conference again with UNESCO tomorrow and then the tail end on the IBBS workshop All that with nine UNAIDS country reports to finalise, one urgent WHO report and one what-am-i-thinking meeting with this guy who wants me to join his company full time knowing full well it'll be on top of running my own company full time Is it even possible to have two fulls?]

So there. This really is fifth gear. The amazing thing is, apart from just the one night when I choked up and had a minor panic scare, I've been calm. Walking through Suvarnabhumi (just love that name) airport just now - for the sixth time in less than three months - I caught myself humming a tune out loud.

The next week will continue to be crazy hectic. And exhaustion is kicking in. But I'm feeling great. Three more days and I'll be back where I want to be. Home in Miri, with H. I told him a couple of nights ago, on the phone, that the mere thought of him and the house keeps me sane and grounded. I visualise my home and the calmness sweeps over me like a tidal wave. Don't know if a tidal wave can be calm. That house, with the life in it that I have with H, defines sanctuary for me. It is a cocoon in which the stillness and stability is absolutely tangible. The wonderful thing is that I don't have to yearn for it the way I used to when my heart and thoughts were restless and lost. I have it. Even if I'm not there.

So yes. This is top speed. But I am being fueled by absolute stillness.