If ever again

I had forgotten.
Then I was reminded.
So now I hurt all over again.


Some scars take a long time to heal. If ever at all. Even after years and years, one or two remain raw.

Somewhere deep in my heart I made a promise to myself last night. I don't even know if I want to keep that promise. It wasn't one I made with my head. It was one my heart made for me. Perhaps those are the most important promises of all.

This is the promise my heart made for me last night:
If there is ever a one more time, it will be for me.
No idealisms.
No sacrifices.
No expectations.
No conditions.
No guilt.


It really is a sad thing, to be sad in your heart. It is a cold, lonely place, sadness. Especially this particular kind of sad. The quiet one. It just sits there inside of you, like a pebble at the bottom of a pool.
It's just there.